Putin Huilo adopts Star KIC 9696936

It's just incredible what extents Vladimir Putin will go to so that he can have an influence no only in Eurasia, but throughout the Milky Way. Just goes to illustrate just how it is that Putin-Huilo!

It now becomes even clearler why Putin was so upset with the aborted launch of the Angara rocket on Friday June 27, 2014. From the National Post's report, together with images of Putin who was watching a live feed of the launch from the cosiness of the Grand Kremlin Palace in Moscow, clearly show he was pretty miffed.

The Angara rocket, has long been suspected by the Fifth Directorate of the Pan-Galactic Peace Agency, as a sign of dissent of the Russian Federation's to the Pan-Galactic non-agreesion pact. Sources say that the Russian Federation has its sites set on moving in on a part of the Milky Way located between the Vega and Deneb systems.

A spate of failures

Such a scenario would not surprise anyone who has been following the events transpiring in Ukraine in the last seven months. While the Angara never even got off the ground last Friday, this is the latest in a spate of failures setting Moscovy's space program back, while private ventures in the West have had nothing but successful in developing their programmes.

It is not secret that Putin has had plans on colonizing the moon for some time now and also wishes to head to Mars, though this later failure clearly pissed him off. It is no surprise that there have been as many failures as there have been as Moscovy has been clearly been experience a brain drain and its not going to get better anytime soon. Russians with suffiecient grey metter between their ears are opting to leave their homeland for greener and more liberal pastures abroad. In a system which Putin is trying to build, there is no doubt a stiffling of creativity and freedom for these individuals to develop and contribute to their fullest. After all those who can contribute to Moscovy's space ambitions are not the zombified masses, but thinking sentient beings.

There are probably thousands of Leonid Bershidsky's in Moscovy today, who have just had enough with the nonsense of Putin's ways. Bershidsky, in his essay, "No Illusions Left, I'm leaving Russian" even states that the explosion of penultimate attempted launch of a Proton-M, was due to sabotage, according to official channels. Though there a other things which bother those who have not been zombifed by the state of Moscovy.

As Bershidsky puts it:

Now the strong have lost all shame.

Facebook news feeds tell us that a foreign rock star was banned from performing in Russia for "possibly promoting nontraditional sexuality to children," the authorities blame the latest Proton rocket crash on sabotage at the Khrunichev Space Center, passionate voices say it is time to change the name of Volgograd back to Stalingrad, anyone holding more than just Russian citizenship must report the fact to the authorities, Internet users must officially register their blogs … and so on.

Given Bershidsky's statement, if I were a gambling man, I would bet that there will be yet more setbacks in Moscovy's renewed desire to shoot for the moon, Mars and the stars, due to a brain drain which will on increase.

Ukrainian Astronomers are not without humour

While Putin curses at last week's failure and football fans globally all know the two words which come before "Do re mi do re do", Ukrainian Astronomers would make Sheldon Cooper of "The Big Bang Theory" proud.

Ukrainian astronomers decided to hook up with the Pale Blue Dot Project, which helps to raise funds for research scientists by allowing individuals to adopt everyting from a single star to entire planetary systems to have some fun with the first two words of Ukraine's footballers anthem about Putin.

According to the Pale Blue Dot Project's website, "All target stars have been observed for up to 4 years by the Kepler space telescope, as part of a search for alien planets." The project is managed by the White Dwarf Research Corporation.

We cannot be certain if the Angara rocket was targeted for a region of space between the the Vega and Deneb systems, we can say for certain that it is an area which Ukraine's joking astromomers had their telescopes set.

The Milky Way: The stars studied by the Kepler Telescope,
Location of the newly named star
Located at a Right ascension of: 18h 59m 47.09s, Declescion of: 46° 26' 44'', R-Band: 11, star KIC 9696936 now has a new name: "Putin-Huilo!"

In fact this is all official, but heaven forbid that this information gets to the Grand Kremlin Palace at the Dicktator's space launch monitoring centre.

As you can see it's all official.
We know how much that
part of the world loves certificates and stamps!
Eventually the planets around the newly named star will also be named in accordance to international laws, however I fear that this, like all other international covenants will be ignored by the start's new name sake.

Isn't it too bad that the Angara rocket wasn't heading in that direction with the star's name sake on board - boldly going where no dickhead has gone before.

Putin, is now not only a dictator, a popular name or a traditional Ukrainian song, now he's a real star. "Putin-Huilo!" - A complete dickhead in the cosmic sense.

As the original material that inspired me to put in my two cents stated, now the FSB, Moscovy's Special Security Services, will not only be monintoring and blocking the Internet, but now will try to find ways of stoping Russians for gazing to the heavens to find the star named for their fearless dicktator.

All Ukrainians and other free inhabitants of planet Earth will be free to observe the night sky and the cosmos. Years into the future, when some astromer trains his telescope between the Deneb and Vega systems, they will not be able to refrain from humming or singing that famous traditional Ukrainian song.


Partiture to the Ukrainian contemporary traditional song about Putin.
 

 


Vasyl Pawlowsky
Independent Consultant

The commentary of this was first published on the wpawlowsky.com site.